What's your skin telling you?

Who is this girl?

She is the North Korean's new First Lady-Kim Jung Un's wife.OMG.

Now who's the boss?

I want to go North Korea!

Sexual Calorie Counter-IT has been known for many years that sex is a good exercise,but until recently nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric expenditure

Now after original and preprietary research they are proud to present the hillarious results

World Worst Football club

冲上云宵 Triumph in the skies II

Ready to fly?

In life,no one helps you once you are fu**ed

Perfect Men=Gay

hebe 在我眼前

一直盯著鼻子上那紅色星星看30秒左右，然後轉向牆壁或一片白色的地方，一直眨眼睛，就會有彩色的Hebe

我们一辈子去工作 到底为了什么？

职业生涯首先要关注的是自己，自己想要什么？




大多数人大概没想过这个问题，唯一的想法只是：



我想要一份工作，我想要一份不错的薪水，我知道所有人对于薪水的渴望，可是，你想每隔几年重来一次找工作的过程么？你想每年都在这种对于工作和薪水的焦急不安中度过么？不想的话，就好好想清楚。饮鸩止渴，不能因为口渴就拼命喝毒药。越是焦急，越是觉得自己需要一份工作，越饥不择食，越想不清楚，越容易失败，你的经历越来越差，下一份工作的人看着你的简历就皱眉头。



于是你越喝越渴，越渴越喝，陷入恶性循环。最终只能哀叹世事不公或者生不逢时，只能到天涯上来发泄一把，在失败者的共鸣当中寻求一点心理平衡罢了。大多数人都有生存压力，我也是，有生存压力就会有很多焦虑，积极的人会从焦虑中得到动力，而消极的人则会因为焦虑而迷失方向。所有人都必须在压力下做出选择，这就是世道，你喜欢也罢不喜欢也罢。







一般，我们处理的事情分为重要的事情和紧急的事情，



如果不做重要的事情就会常常去做紧急的事情。







比如锻炼身体保持健康是重要的事情，而看病则是紧急的事情。



如果不锻炼身体保持健康，就会常常为了病痛烦恼。











又比如防火是重要的事情，而救火是紧急的事情，



如果不注意防火，就要常常救火。







找工作也是如此，想好自己究竟要什么是重要的事情，找工作是紧急的事情，



如果不想好，就会常常要找工作。







往往紧急的事情给人的压力比较大，迫使人们去赶紧做，相对来说重要的事情反而没有那么大的压力，大多数人做事情都是以压力为导向的，压力之下，总觉得非要先做紧急的 事情，结果就是永远到处救火，永远没有停歇的时候。



（很多人的工作也像是救火队一样忙碌痛苦，也是因为工作中没有做好重要的事情。）







那些说自己活在水深火热为了生存顾不上那么多的朋友，今天找工作困难是当初你们没有做重要的事情，是结果不是原因。如果今天你们还是因为急于要找一份工作而不去思考，那么或许将来要继续承受痛苦找工作的结果。



我始终觉得我要说的话题，沉重了点，需要很多思考，远比唐笑打武警的话题来的枯燥乏味，但是，天下没有轻松的成功，成功，要付代价。请先忘记一切的生存压力，想想这辈子你最想要的是什么？所以，最要紧的事情，先想好自己想要什么。







人都是要面子的，也是喜欢攀比的，即使在工作上也喜欢攀比，不管那是不是自己想要的。大家认为外企公司很好，可是好在哪里呢？好吧，他们在比较好的写字楼，这是你想要的么？他们出差住比较好的酒店，这是你想要的么？别人会羡慕一份外企公司的工作，这是你想要的么？那一切都是给别人看的，你干吗要活得那么辛苦给别人看？







另一方面，他们薪水福利一般，并没有特别了不起，他们的晋升机会比较少，很难做到很高阶的主管，他们虽然厌恶常常加班，却不敢不加班，因为“你不干有得是人干”，大部分情况下会找个台湾人香港人新加坡人来管你，而这些人又往往有些莫名其妙的优越感。你想清楚了么？500强一定好么？找工作究竟是考虑你想要什么，还是考虑别人想看什么？



我的大学同学们大多数都到美国了，甚至毕业这么多年了，还有人最近到国外去了。出国真的有那么好么？我的大学同学们，大多数还是在博士、博士后、访问学者地挣扎着，至今只有一个正经在一个美国大学里拿到个正式的教职。国内的教授很难当么？我有几个表亲也去了国外了，他们的父母独自在国内，没有人照顾，有好几次人在家里昏倒都没人知道，出国，真的这么光彩么？







人总想找到那个最好的，可是，什么是最好的？你觉得是最好的那个，是因为你的确了解，还是因为别人说他是最好的？即使他对于别人是最好的，对于你也一定是最好的么？







对于自己想要什么，自己要最清楚，别人的意见并不是那么重要。



很多人总是常常被别人的意见所影响，亲戚的意见，朋友的意见，同事的意见..



问题是，你究竟是要过谁的一生？人的一生不是父母一生的续集，也不是儿女一生的前传，更不是朋友一生的外篇，只有你自己对自己的一生负责，别人无法也负不起这个责任。自己做的决定，至少到最后，自己没什么可后悔。对于大多数正常智力的人来说，所做的决定没有大的对错，无论怎么样的选择，都是可以尝试的。比如你没有考自己上的那个学校，没有入现在这个行业，这辈子就过不下去了？就会很失败？不见得..







我想，好工作，应该是适合你的工作，具体点说，应该是能给你带来你想要的东西的工作，你或许应该以此来衡量你的工作究竟好不好，而不是拿公司的大小，规模，外企还是国企，是不是有名，是不是上市公司来衡量。小公司，未必不是好公司，赚钱多的工作，也未必是好工作。你还是要先弄清楚你想要什么，如果你不清楚你想要什么，你就永远也不会找到好工作，因为你永远只看到你得不到的东西，你得到的，都是你不想要的。







可能，最好的，已经在你的身边，只是，你还没有学会珍惜..



人们总是盯着得不到的东西，而忽视了那些已经得到的东西..







.

左邊是泰國最帥的女人--Zee，右邊是泰國最美的男人--Poy。這樣我以後要怎麼辨別男女啊

Does EmailCashPro really PAY?

EmailCashPro - A Scam or not?

As you can see the bottom of this blog,there's an Emailcashpro banner,and many people came and ask me,'heyz,what it is about?'

Now,i'm going to explain more about it.


Many of us often entered a paid-to-read email program to earn some passive income. Some of us often pay an additional fee to upgrade our status in these programs so we can increase our earnings rate. However more often than not, we lose these initial investments when the program disappears.

This is on top of all the times we have spent in front of our computers, hoping the next paid-to-read email comes in for us to open, click and read so to earn some measly amount of money.

What sets EmailCashPro from the many other programs out there?

1) It does not ask you to 'top up' cash to improve your earnings.
Topping up cash goes against the logic of advertising where advertisers PAY for viewers to see advertisements. EmailCashPro helps us increase our earnings by letting us share useful advertisements with our friends and referrals.

2) It is based in a highly transparent country.
EmailCashPro is based in Singapore, where you would get the death sentence for smuggling the tiniest bit of heroin.

3) Its business is founded firmly on advertising, not on members' money.
EmailCashPro pays out according to a conversion scale, depending on the revenue it earns in a month. This conversion rate is revealed to all members. As said, members do not have to pay to increase their earnings rate.

4) Genuine advertisers advertise through EmailCashPro?
At the receiving end, you get to CHOOSE the kind of emails to read especially those that truly suit your interests (like true programs to earn money). Advertisers are legitimate businesses who seek to reach the internet audience through EmailCashPro.

5) It pays by cheque or PAYPAL.
There are many testimonies on its website (and mine as well) that readers have been paid. Moreover, PAYPAL is one of the most secure online transaction merchants. This is attested to its links to Visa, Mastercard, Amex etc. If you haven't signed up for PAYPAL, do it HERE!

6) Its referral system truly works.
EmailCashPro has been around for many years and its current members stands more than 60,000 worldwide.

EmailCashPro is 100% risk-free and there is no harm trying it out for a few weeks. All members can unsubscribe any time.

Americans are not stupid?THINK AGAIN.

I'm not sure whether this is true or not,but they don´t know how many sides a triangle have? Or who Tony Blair is? That is not fair...just because their president is as intelligent as a door, it doen´t mean they´re all like that...if you still think american people are stupid, watch this video and change your mind :)

你知道吗？为什么？‏

你知道吗？为什么？

坚持看完这，它们将对你认识自己在生活中的角色很有帮助！

你知道什么是"家庭"（family)吗？
你真的了解"家庭"（family)这个词背后的含义吗？
当你知道答案后，你会大吃一惊的！


FAMILY 家庭
Father And Mother, I Love You
爸爸 和 妈妈 我 爱 你们


为什么男人需要一个妻子（WIFE）? 那是因为妻子:
W---Washing 洗衣
I---Ironing 熨衣
F---Food 做饭
E---Entertainment 让老公开心


为什么女人需要一个丈夫（HUSBAND）?
那是因为丈夫:
H---Housing 提供住房
U---Understanding 理解
S---Sharing 分担
B---Buying 购物
A---and 以及
N---Never 从来不
D---Demanding 让人费心

你知道一个简单的"你好"（"HELLO"） 可能是一个很甜美的词语吗?

尤其是当这个词是从你心爱的人口中说出时，"你好"（ HELLO ）这个词意味着:
H=How are you?
你好吗？
E=Everything all right?
一切进展顺利吗？
L=Like to hear from you
我很高兴能知道你的消息！
L=Love to see you soon!
希望能尽快见到你！
O=Obviously, I miss you ..... so, HELLO! Good day!
很明显，我很想你…所以，你好！你好呀！

Methods Of Procrasturbation

We all know how hard it is to get important work done sometimes. We know it's there, staring us in the face and waiting to be completed, but for some reason we just don't want to think about it. We can't get motivated enough to just rally ourselves and be done with it. The technical term for this is procrastination: the simple act of putting off work until later.






However, procrastination can go one step farther when we start having fun while avoiding our work. This is called procrasturbation. Now, some might say that this term only applies to a specific pleasurable act in conjunction with the putting off of work, but I think the definition is more broad than that. When one procrasturbates, it means you're having fun in spite of all the work piled in front of you. Procrastination, in contrast, does not necessarily involve fun, but only the wasting of time.



I myself have become a master of procrasturbation. I leave myself just enough time to get projects done without compromising my sleeping or eating patterns. Don't misunderstand, though. This isn't really something to be proud of, but rather a simple fact — a force of nature that cannot be controlled or stopped. Of course, just as rain and wind can be usefully harnessed without necessarily controlling them, so too can procrasturbation. If you're going to do things you enjoy, make sure they're useful to you in some way, even if they don't directly relate to the work you're putting off.



For example:



-Good exercise: Lots of people actually enjoy breaking a sweat and getting the blood flowing, and the old adage about a sound body leading to a sound mind is really pretty true. Exercising relieves stress, stress which is likely brought on by a large workload. Anything you can do to reduce that stress and get your head back in the game is worth it. Coupling it with loud music can also help get you pumped and ready to tear into those nagging assignments as well.



-A hearty meal: One of the most satisfying ways to procrasturbate is eating a good meal. I can remember lots of days from elementary school all the way through college where I put off work while I shoveled food into my mouth. Even though it's a good way to stall, it still serves a purpose. The less hungry you are while you're writing your last-minute term paper, the more likely you are to get it done right, and quickly. You won't be inclined to take breaks, either.



-Read: Unless it's Us Weekly or People, most of what we read is good for us, be it a novel, magazine or a newspaper article. It might not be too productive, but at the very least it's engaging your brain, and at the best it's educational. If you're lucky you might glean an idea or two from what you're reading, making your actual project that much easier to complete. And perhaps it's just me, but after every book I finish, I feel a small, but noticeable sense of accomplishment — not enough to pat myself on the back, mind you, but a small sense of satisfaction that I finished something I set out to do. That little push might be all one needs to work up the motivation to finish a project.



So you see? Procrasturbation can actually lead you into productivity and help reduce the mounting stress, while simple procrastination is more likely to lead you into a severe freak out the day before your work is due.



What other ways can one pro-actively procrasturbate?

What Would You Do If The Internet Was Destroyed?

A long time ago, in a place that might seem like another dimension, the internet did not yet exist. It was a sad place, a grim world where conversations took place over the telephone and in person. It was a place where people had to keep up the pretenses of being polite, respectable people, lest they be viewed as angry, raving lunatics. And as for information? Well, it moved slowly. So slowly, in fact, that documents were moved in things called envelopes and driven on trucks to their destination. Sounds like the damn dark ages, doesn't it?




Really though, what would happen to the world today if the Internet was suddenly yanked out from under us? I'm not asking what things would be like if it never existed, either. I want to know what so many internet-reliant people would do when faced with a sudden, permanent loss of instantaneous communication.



I've got a few predictions:



1. The global economy would take a massive, MASSIVE hit. I'm no economic forecaster, of course, but it doesn't take a number-cruncher to recognize the how many companies are reliant on the web to make their profit. Millions would be out of work, and IT workers would find a major part of their expertise circling the drain.



2. There would likely be a sudden pregnancy boom. With so many people finding that their favorite web hobbies are no longer available to them, it's realistic to think that people might start spending more quality time with their significant other's. Additionally, with the inevitable collapse of the pr0n industry, people will have to try harder to stay carnally satisfied, leading everyone to new relationships and lower expectations. Clicking and wanking will no longer be a replacement for a girlfriend.



3. Support groups would spring up overnight. Facebook withdrawal, coupled with numerous other forms of detox symptoms brought on by internetlessness will bring the weak-spirited to their knees. The mantra "Hi, my name is [blank], and I lost all my [insert social network here] friends." will be repeated thousands upon thousands of times. Pills will be popped, alcohol consumed, and coping will ensue. It will be a long, hard process for many.



4. Slowly but surely, people will stop acting like assholes. The internet has always had the unique ability to turn people who would normally be smiling, polite citizens into malicious morons with nothing better to do than berate their fellow man for a difference of opinion. The slower pace of information may also serve to keep people's nerves below boiling point. Without the barrier of anonymity that the internet provides, incidences of flaming should dissipate quickly and be left to the only place it really ever belonged anyway: Congress.



5. Obesity will gradually decline. Usage of the internet also involves a great deal of sit-on-your-ass-itis, which means that without it, people will begin to use their legs more often and slowly venture outdoors again. Computers will still be useful for various activities, of course, but the idea of getting up to smell the roses will take hold more easily without the addictive lure of the web.



What would you do, or what do you think would happen if the internet were suddenly gone?



Image Source

Improve your memory and feed your brain =)

Would you like to improve memory and feed your brain with special brain foods to feel and act younger? The proper foods have an amazing way of protecting against age related illnesses. Have you been under a lot of stress lately? Getting older and getting forgetful? Do you forget your husband's name and instead call him by the dog's name? Are you worried about Alzheimers or senility catching up as you age? If you answered yes to any of these questions, read on for ideas to improve memory and feed your belly with natural brain foods to increase brain function and overall health.

EAT FISH:

One of the best foods to help improve memory is fish, not only for its iodine content, but also for the fatty acids found in the form of Omega 3. The fattier the fish the better. Eat tuna, salmon, mackerel and sardines. Omega 3 helps to protect the brain, improve memory and aids in overall function. Iodine not only feeds the brain but also the thyroid helping to maintain metabolism and general good health. Iodine is found in sea salt and iodized salt and in all forms of seaweed or kelp. Here's justification for eating out at those expensive and delicious Japanese restaurants and eating lots of sushi! Just tell your spouse you want to improve memory and eat brain foods when you go to eat out.

INCORPORATE FLAX SEEDS AND FLAX SEED OIL:

Flax seed and flax seed oil is extremely high in omega 3 fatty acids and consuming these tiny seeds will give your brain a huge boost to improve memory. Best to buy and grind your own at the time you want to add them to your recipes. Pick up an inexpensive coffee bean grinder and use only for herbs and spices and of course flax seed. Whir in the grinder for a minute and sprinkle on your cereal, veggies, mix with rice or soup. Just about everything tastes good with flax see including mixing freshly ground flax into your smoothies, so feed your brain with brain food.

EAT BERRIES AND RED FOODS:

Fruits and vegetables improve memory and help support the human system in a variety of ways. Antioxidants aid the body in circulation as well as protecting against cancer and other diseases of aging. Eat berries, especially blueberries, asparagus, kale, sweet potatoes and black currants to improve memory. Red foods help increase circulation to the brain like tomatoes, strawberries, cherries and radish and can also aid to improve memory.

USE GINSENG:

Two funny sounding but potent herbs are the king and queen of memory boosting products on the market. Ginseng is an ancient Chinese herb whose root grows into what looks like the human form. It's been used in Chinese medicine for centuries and is a mainstay for use in helping to balance and sustain proper hormone production in the body, improve memory and feed the brain. Without the correct hormonal balance the brain becomes stressed and begins to rebel against natural activities seeking rest and rejuvenation. This powerful adaptogen helps the brain and the body regain proper stasis.

INCORPORATE GINKO BILOBA IN YOUR DIET:

And Ginko Biloba, is also a powerful Chinese herb known to aid increased circulation enhancing blood flow to the brain and improve memory. An excellent brain food, the staying power of Gingko is quite remarkable. It is said that after the nuclear bombings in Japan at the end of World War II, the only thing left standing in the wake of the horror were the Gingko trees. Gingko leaves are mirror images of one another and look similar to two hearts attached at the center giving mind to the herbs' use as a circulatory stimulant.

ADD OLIVE OIL TO YOUR DIET:

Remember to use olive oil, high in omega fatty acids 3 and 6 and polyunsaturated. This wonderful, life-giving oil will improve memory and support your system in many ways. Our bodies need healthy fats to aid nerves to function properly. Be sure it is cold pressed olive oil. Adding heat destroys much of the goodness found in this well known brain food.

REMEMBER TO TAKE VITAMIN B12:

Improve memory with a daily dose of vitamin B brain food, especially B12. Well known in its use to increase circulation and sooth frazzled nerve fibers, this panacea to life's daily aggravations will offer huge relief when taken regularly and in the proper dosage.

POUR ON THE HONEY:

And last but not least, to add to life's sweetness and improve memory, include natural honey in your diet. Studies have shown it aids in decreasing anxiety, increasing calm that helps us to sleep better and improve memory during ageing. Honey is found to have antioxidants which also help to prevent free radicals from damaging cell growth. There are a great many types of honey to choose from, something to please every taste palate. Have a teaspoon or two right before going to bed and sleep like a baby while digesting the sweetest brain food.

Thrifty, Cheap or Freeloader?

With the economy hitting people hard, thrifty is no longer a bad word, and it’s become a valued characteristic in a future partner for many people who are realizing that overspending today can lead to going broke tomorrow. Of course in good or bad financial times there are those men that are always those people that are just plain cheap, or even those that are all take and fall into the freeloader category.




So where do we draw these lines among thrifty, cheap and the dreaded freeloader? Let’s take a look at some of the most common money related love dilemmas that are being posted on LuvemOrLeavem and how to determine which category these problems fall into. To be fair to the guys, there are plenty of women out there that use men as a personal piggy bank, so when a man says enough to these women, he is well within his rights to tell her that the spending has got to stop.



Who pays for the date and how much should it cost? Based on other posts about dating and who should pay, most of my readers felt that the person who is doing the asking should pay. Most people also felt that after several dates that the woman should also expect to pay for some of the dates. This is where things seem to get tricky, especially if the woman makes more than the man.



I don’t have a problem with either one paying, but I do think that whoever suggests a very expensive date should be the one to pay for that date unless the person who asked made it clear that money was not an issue when it came to choosing where they would go. I don’t think that merely being the one to ask for the date should put you on the hook for paying for a restaurant that has 5 dollar signs after its listing. On the flip side, if his idea of a date is taking you to a place where they ask if you want to “supersize it” then yes, he is being cheap.



Scaling back on the big day- This current is economy is proving to be very stressful for couples that are planning weddings. Like the dating scenarios, the person who wants to do the spending often thinks that the person who wants to scale back on spending is being cheap. Couples are looking at cutting back on everything from engagement rings to the actual cost of the wedding, and sometimes it’s hard not to feel that this means that this all important day is being given less importance.



For this one, I think that the big key is if these cutbacks are in line with cutting back on other aspects of your lifestyle. For example, if he’s already cutting back on his spending and you get a diamond that is smaller than what you envisioned, then that is perfectly fine. It used to be common that couples started out with a small engagement ring that they would upgrade at a later anniversary. The assumption was that there would be a lifetime of anniversaries to upgrade, so it’s rather romantic when you look at it that way. Of course, if he has money for a big screen TV and an Italian sportscar and he can’t find the cash for the kind of ring that you would like then that is a whole different story.



All take and no give- Even if he does tend to lean more towards the cheap side than the thrifty side, that doesn’t have to be a deal breaker. He may seem to have plenty or money now but may feel that a layoff is looming in the future and may just have not shared that with you, so sometimes you may need to give him some time. The one type of person who doesn’t need time is the type that only takes and never gives. This person not only never pays, but will often have the “money is no object” attitude to you paying. This person is definitely a freeloader and the sooner you identify this one, the better.



Moving in together (the ultimate freeloader)- If you ask someone to move in with you, then presumably you want to take that relationship to the next level. If you are the one that is being asked to share your place, then you need to take a good look at why your partner is suggesting this move. We have had quite a bit of love dilemmas posted where the request to move in has been accompanied by the words “I need a place to stay.” No matter how wonderful you think that he or she is, this is a huge red flag. When someone wants to move in with you because they need a place to stay it is time to not only say no to the request, but it is time to say no to the relationship.



So,when trying to decide between thrifty and cheap, we often need to look beyond single actions to see what someone’s financial picture looks like and what other things they are cutting back on in their lives. The freeloader category is a little easier to assess, since these relationships are for the most part all take and no give. Remember, thrifty is good, you may or may not want to give someone who is cheap a chance, but freeloaders should be cut loose as soon as they are identified.

How to pet a kitty

Though I dont really like cats

心理測驗 你會搶好朋友的男（女）朋友嗎？

題目：假若你的好朋友戴了一個非常好看又別致的飾品，你也非常喜歡這件飾品，你會？

1.問他在哪裡買的，趕快也去買一個

2.心想可能很貴，也不喜歡戴與他人相同的飾品

3.顯露羨慕的表情，向他借來戴

4.覺得不適合他戴，向他要來自己戴





1. 選“問他在哪裡買的，趕快也去買一個”

你不會去搶別人的戀人，即使很喜歡，也只是放在心裡；但你會以他為標准，選擇一位條件類似的戀人，你懂得如何選擇伴侶，只要有機會，一定會找到理想的伴侶。





2. 選“心想可能很貴，也不喜歡戴與他人同的飾品”

你有隨遇而安的個性，不與人爭，也不會搶別人的伴侶。你有自己的品味，重視精神生活，因此會選擇彼此個性相投的伴侶，感情很好，你是個能享受婚姻生活的人，在這種問題上很低調。





3. 選“顯露羨慕的表情，向他借來戴”

你會情不自禁地跟好友的情人示好，雖不完全故意，但若時機來到，有可能占有朋友的愛人。你的多情與熱情，使感情生活相當豐富，朋友多，戀愛機會也多。





4. 選“覺得不適合他戴，向他要來自己戴”

你是當仁不讓與人競爭型的人物。充滿自信，本身條件也不錯，很懂得競爭，常常是勝利者。在愛情的戰場上，你有充足的機會大顯身手，一定可以得到你喜歡的戀人！

First Fart in a relationship

When someone farts and they don't want to admit to this, they either say :-




1. "Can you smell that?" - before everyone else does

or

2. "I can't smell anything!"- when everyone else does





But what happens when you start a relationship?



- For guys, all disgusting farting habits are ceased. Guys are no longer loud and proud about their loud and smelly farts. This is because they want to make the girl like them. Once the girl falls in love, they can no longer escape from the guy's farting machine abilities.



- For girls, what do you mean? Girls' farts smell like roses!







I have some limited advice for all you dating farters out there. Before you let out wind, usually, you can sort of tell which type of fart is going to emit from your orifice. If it is a :-



1. Silent and harmless fart



Do it! No-one but you will know.

If you see your other half harboring a secret half-smile but they won't tell you why, they have done one of these farts!



2. Loud and harmless fart



Before you let it out, turn up the volume of the radio or TV or cough loudly or say, "HEY, WHAT'S THAT?" - anything just to distract their attention and if you time it nicely, congratulate yourself.

If you see your other half acting oddly and harbouring a secret smile, they have done one of these farts!



3. Loud and deadly



There's not much you can do here except run out the room and let it out. Both of you will hear this and probably laugh about it. It's almost funny.

You will be loud and proud of the loudness and the smelliness of this fart.

Whereas your other half will laugh about the noise, but they will also be holding their breath so they'll have some weird choking laugh.

The noise warns them a nasty smell is on the way so at least, they're semi-prepared.



4. Silent and deadly fart



This is the deadliest fart of them all.

You think it's going to be silent and harmless so you relax and let it go. You WILL smell it first and boy, it's a STINKER! You must quickly act on this.

Either confess or feign ignorance.



If you confess before the smell hits your other half, at least, they will appreciate your warning and hold their breath.



If you feign ignorance, make sure it's when there are other people in the room (e.g. in the cinema, in a lift full of people), so it could have been from anyone.



Make sure you are NOT the first one to smell it, because that's a giveaway - "whoever smelt it, dealt it"

But again, don't deny the fact there is a bad smell in the air when everyone else can smell it because the finger points to you.

The biggest problem is if you feign ignorance and there are only two of you in the room. You cannot talk yourself out of that one! Hang your head in shame!



I'm going to confess and give you two true stories here.



On first or second non-serious date

So on this date, there were only two of us in an enclosed area. I had a semi-sore tummy and let one rip. The guy, who liked me loads, made a twitch when the smell wafted over. I was embarrassed but refused to let my face betray me. "What's wrong?", I said. Pause. "Oh, er, nothing..." he replied. What a gentleman! And for the rest of our relationship, this incident was never brought up so either a) the fart wasn't that deadly or b) he was too traumatized to talk about it ever again.



After a few dates, when both are in love with each other

So on this date, there was two of us and we were just chilling out and enjoying each other's company. One of those dates where both are comfortable with silence and there is no need for conversation. Again, I had a semi-sore tummy and had to let one go. I thought it would have been harmless, but oh dear, it was deadly. I quickly went over to the boyfriend and tried to distract him by kissing him. He was surprisingly delighted with my forward approach...until 2.5 seconds later, when his nasal cavity was filled with my deadly emission...and then he started laughing at me. Because he just knew! It was suspicious when I started kissing him first, but then it was apparent why when he smelt the fart. We both laughed about it.



The first fart in a relationship is always going to be awkward. But once you've both laughed about it, it becomes easier and you've seen or smelt another side of your other half.



My married friends admit they have farting competitions in bed to see who can do the loudest and smelliest ones - that is just SICK!



Any farting stories to share? Come on, don't be shy