How to Handle Being Suddenly Single

Doesn't it seem that dating was much easier when you were 18? When your biggest concerns were what to wear and if you could snag the keys to your parents' station wagon on a Friday night. It may be hard to believe, especially if you haven't been in the scene for quite some time, but today's mating rituals are not too different from what you recall. So what do you do when you're in your ThirdAge and find yourself suddenly single?




Dr. Carol Queen, a San Francisco sexologist, says, "It is important to acknowledge your own attractiveness and how well you're doing with your past breakup. Whether you're divorced or widowed, Queen stresses, "Don't rush out the door without giving yourself time to process this change in your life."



In a monogamous relationship, you and your partner both watched as your bodies grew, perhaps, a tad softer and less defined as they were in your 20s. But now you're facing the possibility of exposing this and any other insecurities to someone unknown and that can be a challenging hurdle to overcome. Queen says, "Self-image is really key in getting turned on to a new person. It's not the shape of the body or the look of the face, it's the way a person carries themselves, their confidence."



This is a key time to get in touch with yourself and really emphasize what you like about who you are because, as Queen explains, "we're more self conscious about our bodies than someone who is attracted to us. We are our hardest critics." The best way to overcome this is to realize that this new person in your life probably didn't know you when you were 20-something. They're attracted to who you are and what you look like today.



Queen's Tips for Dating Again



Accent parts of your body you feel good about

Be encouraging

Take charge in the bedroom

All that's left to do is to throw in that Barry White CD, dim the lights, and enjoy being suddenly single.